Oh motherhood, how you bless me, exhaust me, awe me and have changed me, forever.
My kids, ages 7 and 4, are growing faster than I could have ever imagined. People always told me – it goes fast, enjoy it – but it’s not until you’re in the midst of it that you realize this is SO TRUE.
The days are LONG . . . but the years are SHORT. Can I get an amen?
Our days are long and busy – aren’t they moms? The “to do” list is never done, as soon as we scratch something off, something jumps into it’s place.
Some days many days it seems overwhelming and I question – “Am I doing this right?. . . Am I the best mom I can be? Am I failing at this miserably?”
Pinterest, Facebook, the media, the magazines – perfect faces, perfect families, perfect memories – the social pressure, as if we don’t put enough pressure on ourselves to be or do our best – to be the best mom.
There are plenty of experts telling you what you should do – less TV (no TV), organic (local) food, homemade meals (only fresh foods), don’t yell, read daily, keep your house organized, stick to a schedule/routine, don’t co-sleep, yes co-sleep, cloth diaper, no electronics or screens. . . oh, wait – but here are the best iPad learning apps, 4-5 servings of vegetables (organic) a day . . the list goes on and on.
This list is enough to make ANYONE feel guilty at the end of the day. I’ve been there. Guilty that I’m not doing it all perfectly. Guilty that I’m screwing my kids up for the rest of their lives.
But this year, something shifted in my mindset. I finally realized how much I was beating myself up. And I said enough.
There is VALUE in giving motherhood your best. There is value in striving to give your kids the best environment for growing and learning.
And I am committed to doing my best – giving my best to my kids and my family.
But at the end of the day – you know what I really want to worry about?
Do my kids feel LOVED? Do they feel VALUED? Do they feel HEARD?
Nothing else really matters.
Our kids go to bed in their own beds every night by 8 p.m. We tuck them in, say their prayers, sing a song of their choice, hear what’s on their minds – and then they go to bed, with a kiss and a hug.
And without fail, by 5 a.m. (sometimes earlier) both of them are in our bed. . . . Asking, “Momma, can I snuggle with you?” or “Daddy, can I crawl into your bed?” No matter how tired we are, no matter how late we stayed up working the night before, we say YES.
We hug them tightly, we listen to their ramblings, we let them poke our faces or mess with our hair. There are no iPhones, no TVs, no dirty dishes, no laundry to fold. It’s just us and them, before the busyness of the day begins. I CHERISH these early morning moments.
Because they won’t want to crawl into our bed forever.
Many “experts” suggest I go to bed early and set my alarm for 5 a.m. so I can jumpstart my day . . to get up before the family does. . . I used to do this! I used to get up at 4 a.m. and blog like a crazy lady until 7 a.m. when the rest of my family would “wake up” and come downstairs. I used to start my day off more productively – I did get more done in the day.
For some moms, waking up early to start the day right might be key to starting the day right. But for me, it meant I was missing out on the important stuff. I was missing those moments – those moments that won’t last forever. These days, Rise and Shine is published much later than it used to be – but it’s because my day starts in a much different way – without guilt, without anxiety, without stress – it starts with my kids.
I wish I could go back a few years ago – and tell my younger self – stop WORRYING so much about what you think you should be doing. Just love them. Just enjoy it. Just say YES to “sleeping in”.
Say YES, I love you, sweet child.
Say YES, I will listen to you.
Say YES, I see you.
Say YES, I value you.
Say YES, wake me up at the crack of dawn with your bright, never-ending smile. . .
and as a mom – say YES, I am enough.
Happy Mother’s Day, every day. You are enough . . . sweet mother.
Shawna says
I think this is an excellent wake up call to all moms. Time is the most important thing we can give our families. I know I am guilty of those early mornings on the weekend where they are snuggling in our bed with Dad while I run around getting breakfast, feeding animals, laundry,etc when I should be right in there with them laughing and being silly. It is a very small time like you said where we will having them wanting to come in and snuggle. My 3 kids are 6 and 7yrs (twins) and I really see how fast it all goes. There is no perfection in parenting, we all just need to strive to do our best to raise warm, caring and honest adults who will contribute to this crazy world. Thanks for posting, Heather.
Tami England says
Agree! The years go by so fast! My children are now 12, 10, & 7. I am so glad that I worked only half time when they were babies and toddlers, and am still not full-time! Enjoy every moment! We had a crib, but not one of the kids slept in it! Now they go to bed on their own, in their own beds, but not without being tucked in with bedtime thankfulness prayers!
There is no greater joy than watching your children grow up!! And yours are adorable!!
DeAnne says
You are a good mom and your kids are darling! Thanks for the kind words to all of us moms out there!
Cheryl says
You’re children are ADORABLE!!
Heather Clarke says
Thank you Cheryl. 🙂 I think so, too.
jill says
Beautifully written!! I needed a good cry this morning…I was behind in laundry and also thought I should give the kitchen a good clean out today. After reading this, I started a quick load in the washer, placed an order for pizza take out for dinner tonight and am now on the floor playing Legos with my little one. I thank you! ♡
Heather Clarke says
Good morning Jill – Glad that this resonated with you. Hugs to you today!! As mothers we need encouragement and support at the most obscure times and I hope we can lift each other up, give ourselves some grace and take a moment to enjoy the blessings of it all. 🙂 Enjoy your day with your little one.
gailllc says
Oh, well said 🙂