Hey friend,
For nearly two decades, this online space has been a constant in my life. Those of you who have been around since the beginning have walked alongside me as I raised babies, stretched our family budget with affordable meals and online deals, traveled in an Airstream, shared stories and projects. . .and so much more.
Thank you for being here through all of it.
The last 10 years have been a little quieter around here. As retailers, like Amazon, changed their affiliate commission structures, the income I earned from sharing deals no longer matched the time it took to find, vet, write and post them. I had to diversify my income and devote more energy to other work, including freelance communications and my antique business.
This spring I stopped posting altogether. It wasn’t an intentional decision. I just slowly let it slip away and I found much-needed respite in stepping back from the pressure of constantly creating and posting.
Recently I’ve had more comments and messages from you asking, “Are you okay?” “Is this site done for good?” and “Where are you?” I appreciate every person who reached out. I just didn’t have the words or capacity to respond sooner.
The last two years have been a lot. I wasn’t sure how to authentically show up here without sharing more than I was ready to.
Last year, I went through a divorce – something I never expected. It took me through levels of grief, loss, uncertainty and growth, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I spent the last two years focusing on my kids, my health, my house and trying to find my footing on a path that was uncertain and unfamiliar.
By January of this year I felt like I had finally rounded the corner of the deepest grief and I was starting to feel the sunshine on my face again.
Then, in February, my mother, my best friend, was diagnosed with cancer. It put things in perspective and reinforced we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. I’ve spent the last seven months seeing her and trying to support her as much as I can. I’m grateful for every phone call, every visit and all the time we’ve had together this year.
Then, this spring my son graduated from high school. Can you believe it? It feels like just yesterday he was teaching you about worm bins in our backyard. Now he’s 19 and last week I dropped him off at college.
Navigating divorce, grief, anticipatory grief, empty nesting, aging parents – these are realities for so many middle-aged women. Weekly therapy has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve given myself. Today, I am a stronger, more empathetic, more intentional mother, friend, daughter and person than I was two years ago.
I have learned that I have spent a lifetime over-performing and over-functioning as a way to handle trauma and find my worth. I know I’m not alone in this – so many women have been taught, directly or indirectly, that if we just do more, work harder and take care of everyone else, we will finally be enough.
But that’s fucking exhausting. And I was exhausted.
And then my world fell apart. I knew in the moments of deepest grief that I couldn’t skip the hard part. The part where we process, we sit in the grief, we grow, we ask for help, we get stronger. It’s not an easy process, it’s not a linear process, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be done learning from it – but it has been an important part of my journey.
These days, I’m taking things a bit slower. I’m not sweating the small stuff. I’m letting go of things that aren’t meant for me or are out of my control. I’m learning, I’m growing and I am feeling happier and more like myself than I have in years.
As a self-employed single mom navigating finances, a kid in college, a teenager who just started driving, a home full of maintenance and projects, I have moments of overwhelm. But more often now, I have moments of profound clarity and gratitude: for who I am, who I am becoming and how much I have grown through the grief and challenges of these past couple years.
I’ve spent a lot of the last year soul searching and sitting in the discomfort of doing things alone. My teens are busy and on the go, and they live part-time with their dad – leaving me with a lot of time by myself. At first it was incredibly hard and sometimes lonely. But along the way I’ve found and fostered so many new beautiful female friendships – many who can relate to this midlife upheaval – I’ve never felt more loved and supported than I do now.
As I enter this next chapter I find myself needing to be more resourceful with money and time than ever before. I want Queen Bee to continue to be a place for practical, real-life ways to make the most of what we have – online deals, household savings, affordable meals, home and garden ideas, thrifted and vintage finds, and the small choices that help life feel a little more abundant without spending more than we can afford.
Gas, rent, groceries, healthcare – prices feel out of control and I know I’m not the only one feeling the strain. I still believe there are ways to find savings and make the most of finite dollars. I hope to post more consistently this fall and throughout the holiday season, with ideas that save us all money, time and energy.
More than anything, I’m looking forward to reconnecting with this community and showing up in a way that feels authentic, useful and aligned with who I am now.
Thank you for your patience. Thank you for checking in on me. And thank you for being here.
If you haven’t yet, follow along Facebook, join my FB group and check out my Instagram.
If you would, please share what you’d like to see on this site.
- What types of deals or posts would be the most helpful for you?
- Where are you saving the most money these days?
- How are you stretching your dollars these days?
With much gratitude, joy and love,
Heather
Heather, it’s so great to “see” you again! I have been wondering since around April just checking back here and there. I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. Prayers for you and your family, and thank you again for everything you’ve done over the years to positively impact our family.
Heather, I am so sorry for all you have gone through. We’ve been acquainted for many years and I’ve seen the growth in you; the life changes and challenges; the beauty of your family; the Airstream life; then settling down. Life has it’s ups and downs and your post and pictures tell a heartfelt and beautiful story of you becoming you. I miss our friend Pat, and think of her giving us both big hugs and love through all of life’s losses and wins. Take care. Hugs
Debbie – I miss Pat so much and have thought of her many times over the last couple years. Thinking about what she would say and the advice she would give. She was always one of my biggest cheerleaders and a maternal figure for me. You are right – so much of this journey is just finding my way and becoming who I am meant to be. I’m excited about what is ahead and for this new season that feels full of possibility. Much love to you!
Thank you for your honest post. I loved following your deals and tips and hearing you at MOPS way back when. I also followed your airstream adventure. But I appreciate posts like this the most- real and raw. New seasons especially ones you weren’t expecting are tough. It was great connecting with you in person last year. I hope to see more of the creative ways you save as I love a good deal!
Thank you for your comment! I think one of my biggest takeaways from the last few years is that being honest and raw is where the real connection comes from. I’ve learned it’s okay to be vulnerable and to not have everything figured out. I have found value in seeing that in other people and I’m hoping that by sharing about how hard midlife can be – it makes other women feel a little less broken or alone. I look forward to sharing glimpses of my life and how I’m navigating all the things.
I’m thankful you got some time to get a start on figuring things out! Been a follower for years now; since 2011 maybe? I get a S&S order every month because you taught me the best tips and tricks! My biggest tip on saving money is don’t get caught up in the “need it” culture. As parents we want our kids to have everything we never did, but saying no saves me a ton of money! Saying sometimes makes it much more worth it. Welcome back!
Thanks for commenting Angela. S&S is one of my favorite ways to still save on groceries and perishables. And yes, the “need it” culture is a struggle and being intentional is so important when trying to make the most of our resources.
I am glad to hear you are back and had the time to find yourself. Each chapter has some challenges but you got this and wish you and your family à new and happy time ahead.
Thanks for commenting Esmeralda! Every season does have its challenges – I’m grateful for the growth that comes from each one.
Glad to hear from you today! Glad you are doing better these days. I really miss the Amazon deals, they were awesome! I’ve been following you since your Lularoe days. Wish I lived closer to shop in your antique/ vintage spot, you have the selection! Take care of your self! Miss you…
I will be getting back to Amazon deals!
Life may knock us down at times but us women return stronger than ever. We kick ass & take names!
So happy to hear you are finding your way.
I’ve been a long time follower (boy how time flies) & watched your adventures. This is just a new adventure is all.
My recent savings consisted of getting out of WA.
Sold my home & left. Bought a place outright… so am now mortgage free. Woo-hoo!
You aren’t the only one to say that “leaving Washington” was where the money savings started! It is so expensive to live here. I’m so glad that you are mortgage free – that is amazing!
Heather,
I wondered where your emails went. Wow, life is so exhausting at times, please give yourself some grace. You are so strong. I no longer have social media, but I just wanted to send you hugs and love. Hang in there. I’ll look forward to seeing your name pop up in my emails a little more often in the future.
We just moved into what I hope is our forever home. We downsized significantly, into a rambler. It was very humbling to get rid of stuff. I think for me, I have learned that I need to not buy “stuff” as it clutters my life and mind. It was also sad as we downsized to see it’s impossible to sell anything anymore for anything – flakes on selling sites that waste your time by never showing up, etc. And basically having to gift everything to others. That was humbling to see how much wasted money was there.
I would like to see additional ways to save on essentials – groceries (knowing those days of extreme couponing are WAY behind us! – I met you at a Tacoma News Tribune couponing class and signed up for my 5 copies of Sunday newspapers way back when!), household services, etc.
Hang in there, and glad to have you back. I’ll be reading. <3
Jen
Hi Jen – so good to hear from you and I’m so grateful you still get my emails. Moving into a rambler and downsizing is a solid move! Downsizing is hard and it is amazing how much stuff we accumulate right? I’m working on de-cluttering, organizing and prioritizing what is worth buying new, used or not at all. Glad to be back and thank you for following!
Heather,
Thank you for sharing what has been going on; I have been worried about you. You have definitely been through so many life changes.
I have been following you since July 2011 when you taught a couponing class at the Yelm Library! I still have your handout, I just ran across it last night.🤣
I’m glad you decided to take care of YOU, you are so worth it.
Being single and a homeowner isn’t always easy but, YouTube is really helpful!
I’m glad you are able to spend such quality time with your Mom.
I just try to make more things at home instead of eating out and I always felt like you helped promote that. It’s just harder to cook for one or two than for a family. I think that’s always my challenge.
Welcome back! ♥️
Oh my goodness. .. I can’t believe you still have the flyer! That is impressive. Yes, you are right – eating at home is really key. I rarely eat out these days – maybe 1-2 times a month, otherwise it’s home cooked meals and getting back to basics!
Heather, I’ve followed you ever since taking one of your couponing classes years ago, and Queen Bee became such a familiar part of my life. It was more than just coupons and deals. It was a place I could always turn to for helpful ideas, savings, and a sense of connection. I’m so grateful for all the years you’ve shared with us. Wishing you and your mom so much strength, peace, and brighter days ahead. ❤️
Hi Marcie, thank you for following me all these years. I love that this space gave you a sense of connection – it was that for me, too. The farther I got away from myself the last five years the harder it was for me to show up authentically here. I’m hoping that I can get back to that and we can all support each other in community again.
Blessings to you. I’ve navigated a similar space in the past. It’s hard and exhausting and oddly enough rewarding too. We slip, we screw up, we do things we never thought we could and we keep on going. Sending you peace, courage and lots of grace. So good to hear from you and know that you are well.
You are so right. It’s all those things – and I’m so proud of the progress I’ve made this last year in being more vulnerable, emotionally aware and capable of doing hard things. Glad to be back at posting.
Boy oh boy you have been through it, look at you go strong as ever on this side of the chaos we often let overcome us. Me too, me too. Happy your back and ready to follow along as you continue to grown
Thank you Sherri! Appreciate you commenting. Life should make us grow and get better – I’m grateful for that.
I’m sorry for your pain, thank you for sharing & being so honest & vulnerable about what’s been happening, your openness about the difficult realities of life will help many others in the same situation.
I was first introduced to you when a friend shared your article about using the Enchanted Traveler travel agent services for a trip to Disney World.
I have always loved your grocery deals.
Hi Jodee! Thanks for commenting and hanging around all these years. I hope to get back to the grocery deals – it’s the best way to save on the day to day. Where are you shopping these days? Where are you finding the best grocery deals?
Welcome back Heather! Thank you for putting yourself first and caring for yourself. I know that having a senior this year myself, that I’m starting to see the future as an empty nester and that is hard to think about. I’m so sorry so much happened to you at the same time. So overwhelming for sure. Sending a virtual hug and support!
Having your kids head off to college is such a mix of emotions. I have so much pride and excitement for him – and yet, miss him so much. And I miss the season of life where he needs me and lives at home full-time. But this is what we want – resilient, brave-hearted kids who head off confidently in the direction of their dreams. Send you support for the senior year – it’s a lot!
Wow- we have some common themes here. I got divorced in the last year and found myself in that horrible grief as well! And before it was even final (which was a sh…show!) I moved across the country to help my aging parents because of Dad’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. It has been a really hard season! Glad you have found some safe and good female friends- I have too! Planning on moving back to WA one day- all my gown kiddos are there- and hope to have grands one day! Hugs to you!
I’m so sorry to hear about your divorce, Lisa! And to have to move to care for your parents during the same time, I am so sorry. Alzheimer’s is so terrible and being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s is complicated and grief-filled. Thank you for commenting and following.
Happy your back. I’ve looked a few times hoping you would resurface. How did we stretch our money? We left Washington. We live in a larger home on an acre of land. Our monthly expenses are 3k lower. Upon visting this summer, we do miss the scenery. Nothing else.
Looking forward to reading your saving tips.
Thank you, Debby! Sounds like the move was a good financial move for you – things are so expensive here.
I have been following you since your daughter was a baby, hard to believe it has been that long! I also follow you on instagram! in my 50’s and having to start over my hole life over after my husband of 20+ years walked out a year ago with not evening talking to me, just left. You expresses it all better than I can. it has been a roller coaster of emotions, never laughed so hard and cried in the last year. Thank you for taking the time to share!
Thank you for following all these years Emma! I’m so sorry to hear about your husband – how terrible, I cannot imagine. Roller coaster of emotion is definitely a way to say it. Sending you healing thoughts!